nasty jokes ;o)

what about stock market jokes? well, lets look at the definitions 1st! (source i.e. 'stolen from' informedtrades.com here):

• A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
• A stockbroker is someone who invests your money till it's all gone!
• A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

---

It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.

---

Q: Why did God create stock analysts ?

A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

---

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the stockbroker, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a stockbroker-- he gets a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff? How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; his clients, they prayed."

---

and here comes a very old one from myself which proved sooo right in the nasty october 2008:

stock market crash is worse than a divorce: half the money is away, but the wife is still there :)

---

no stocks, no scares =)) (seaofmoney)

---

folks, feel free 2 add additional jokes as comments below (nick name is better than anonymous) or just sent me a message so i can include them here ;-)

don't panic (yet). that's just a fiction.

what abt some preparations? gold? silver? farm land?
just my 2 golden cents 

... this one is no fiction :-(

OMG, lets stop exploiting the planet at that race! lets use only that much resources as our poor planet can re-produce each year! lets #gogreen 

3 countries + 3 old boys + 1 weekend

bratislava castle, slovakia

soooo much 2 say! hmmmm, where 2 start and where 2 stop? no clue, my folks, no clue ... what abt pictorial language? yeahhh! lets move 2 picasa but pls watch out as there are +100 pictures. anyway, you can see two more pictures (for the lazy/busy/picasa hating folks ;-) directly here:

3 figures

stift melk, austria

precious metals fair, munich / germany

folks, soooo many impressions abt the precious metals fair / show / conference right now ...

lets start with few key notes from day #1 (friday):

• soooo many 'old' faces from the previous years (mining companies representatives, book/newsletter authors, precious metals dealers, visitors, fund managers, ...)
• attended few interesting presentations ...
• visited many of 'my' resource companies (there are more than 20 out of approx 80 exhibitors in my portfolio already, so there is much to do tomorrow as well ... its nice 2 get an update abt ongoing developments from the CEOs directly, u know?)
• met rob mcewen, one of the savviest gold/silver investors out there (u.s. gold, rubicon, minera andes, vg gold, lexam explr, colt resources, ...)

rob mcewen + me

gonna learn german?

• met also few other folks :)

• met 3 rabbits ~ bought some silver (physical, of course!) ~ the year of the rabbit coins for 2011 in order to have at least that much luck + success in the markets next year as in the current year of the tiger :-)

• met few old friends ...
• bought few stocks:

1. globex mining ~ approx +90 different projects in north america ~ Au, Ag, various industrial metals, rare earths, talc ~ increased existing position
2. clifton star resources ~ gold in queebec/canada ~ a strong partnership with osisko mining  @  their major project ~ new in my portfolio ~ BONJOUR!
3. colt resources ~ gold + tungsten (= 'wolfram') in portugal ~ new in my portfolio ~ btw, thats prolly rob mcewens latest resource investment and the stock is already 40-50% higher than it was before the announcement of the corresponding transaction. any cold comfort? yep! the announcement was 1st, the crazy stock price movement was 2nd ... well, there are so many examples in the industry where 1st moves the price on heavy insiders trading and than (few days later and many many % higher) comes out the relevant message which explains all former WHYs ;-( ... anyway, to be honest, i prefer much more if im already invested and then rob steps in, u know? that was soooooo great for my portfolio when he invested in 'my' strugggggling vg gold a year ago! vg gold advanced +127% on that news on the very 1st day, of course :-). folks, i think u think ive bought colt cos rob did. true? nope! when investing, youve 2 pay special attention 2 the HARD FACTS, u know? a) they gave visitors an USB data stick with highest capacity of 4GB among all present companies. just 2 give u the dimension of the difference, some competitors provided sticks with laughable capacity of 256MB, which is 16-times (!!!) less => there is not a single grain of greed @ colt resources, u see? b) they have helen  (my heart). guys, believe me, u have 2 walk miles + miles till u see a 'comparable' pretty being. picture of her? nope! phone number? nope + nope! im telling u, do not beg, my dear. simply forget it, no picture 4 sure ... why? ... hmmmm ....... me, stupid idiot, forgot 2 make one :-(. u wanna at least the names of the greedies among the miners? of course i know them, but im not going 2 tell u cos two of them belong to my biggest portfolio positions yet, thus not wanna cause heavy selling in them before stepping out myself => hard facts, hard facts, hard facts! its all abt HEART facts :-)
4. hell, hell, hell! i didnt get focus minerals (gold in australia) in germany even if i offered the ask price => ??? => lets hope i will get the stock even cheaper in australia on monday morning ;o). OMG! strange crazy world! the (sunday) night just started here in munich, in australia is prolly monday morning yet! why? myyyyyy shiny australian shares have been already traded and here they are lying in my account ... and on top theyre even cheaper and with lower commissions than at german stock exchanges. lessons learned? HEART facts + patience :-)
5. some small additional 'shopping' will continue next week i think => thus after my buying offensive of the last few weeks there should be enough gold / silver / commodities in my portfolio, i hope ;-). well, ill update the company names below 2morrow evening ... here we go:
6. the 2nd australian newbies beside focus in my portfolio are the iron ore fellows @ sherwin iron
7. batero gold corp ~ gold in colombia ~ new in my portfolio
8. EnWave corp ~ dehydration of food + medicine ~ increased existing position ~ i liked what the Co-CEO john told me 
9. soltoro ltd ~ silver/gold in mexico ~ increased existing position ~ i liked what CEO andrew told me
10. detour gold ~ gold in canada ~ new in my portfolio ~ they werent @ the fair i think ~ its the top pick from one buddys gold list ~ lets use the excess liquidity @ my margin account therefor :-)
11. amerigo resources ~ addendum tuesday 11/09/10 ~ the prolly last cheap stock on the entire TSX board ~ copper/molybdenum in chile ~ increased existing position
12. great panther resources ~ silver in mexico ~ increased existing position
13. end of money = end of shopping :-)

many new positions, isnt it? whats next? same procedure as always: lets subscribe for investor newsletters + lets watch their developments + let the intuition decide if i should increase/decrease my stake in the future ;o)


... a looooooong night in between ...


what abt day #2 (saturday)?

• the globex mining guys invited few crazy folks like myself to an investor breakfast in the top floor of their centrally located hotel at a cruel cruel time, so that my ugly buzzer expelled my poor body from my nice-hot bed BEFORE 7 O'CLOCK!!! got it? it was on saturday, a day when all prudent folks make up their sleep deficites for the week! just unbelievable, these canadian miners, im gonna tell ya ;o). of course i wasnt awake enough and couldnt use my key-card properly to convince the elevator to lift me up ... ohhhh ... after some help from the hotel staff i was there and u wouldnt believe what a beastly view provides munichs roofs in that part of the city! such a nice hotel in such an unsightly neighborhood! anyway, at least it was easy and fast to reach the fair afterwards, thats just one example how experience pays off for fair's long term attendees globex, u see? after perceived 5 litres of coffee i could follow the discussion, hero me! in a familiar atmosphere presented the CEO jack stoch and his wife dianne few of their +90 projects & upcomimg issues, explained their joint venture & spin-off of advanced projects approach, asked for ideas for potential improvements and much more. folks, pls do me a favor, will you? pls   d o   n o t   ask me which metals is globex involved in! look better at the table below and ask jack or go 2 companys website in order 2 find out in which theyre are not, hahaha ... last but not least, there are only approx 22m globex shares out there, many of them owned by the mngmt and thus not 4 sale ...

huuuuh? one empty seat out there?

the ultimate periodic chart! both source and a great resource 2 study natural resources ~ 

~ www.mii.org ~ link2chart

• asked bruno bandulet 2 sign his gold book i read currently 4 me. folks, these guy runs a gold/silver subscription service since 1979, i think. thats what i call stamina + experience
• bought few more silver coins i liked. folks, pls dont think im heavily buying bullion at current prices ie gold $1,400 and silver $26, im not. why not? i hope i have already enough... btw, last time ive bought a significant amount of silver was the xmas 2009 when the paper silver price was approx $16 and i could buy directly from one of my best performing companies, 1st majestic silver at $18 per ounce. btw, they gave investors in munich the most silver per €uro this time [1 oz SILVER = 20 €uros = a thinny piece of worthless(?) PAPER] while the paper silver price is $26. a buddy of mine checked the prices @ all other booths there... wanna read more abt gold/silver yet? pls read my old old old 'summary' blog post HERE :-).
• met my remaining companies representatives, attended 2 more presentations

silver? gold? both?

me, scorpio mining, soltoro ltd (left 2 right)

• had a beer (or 2?) with friends after the event ...

there was also an unofficial day #3 (sunday), u know? well, cos not all visitors leave munich the very next second the show is over, laura from clifton star resources invited few analysts, newsletter writers, the famous silver guru david morgan (btw, david was also one of the key speakers at the conference), my wife + myself 2 a tasty breakfast in a hotel near munichs main station. weve talked abt the markets, investments, freedom, constitution, energy and many other things ... u wouldnt believe that there are also more important things on planet earth than the current price per ounce of gold or silver, would u?

does everyone still remember last years event? yes? fine. no? fine, just follow that link :-)


cheers!

changed my mind ...

hell! hell! hell! ive decided 2 change my plans .... well, ive planned to use 5k of my lovely trading profits for some special short term opportunities, u know? the last 3 or 4 'opportunities' a buddy of mine told me were companies without any substance (IMHO) and the only reason the most of them really advanced was a corresponding pushing via diverse newsletters, email lists etc (MHO again). ive bought 2 of them ... one is a complete loss and the 2nd went slowly up and would make up the first loss but i sold immediately at a very low profit after i understood the 'story' ... lets learn from this mistakes and lets stick 2 informed trades/investments in the future ;-)

of course i need a dollar and wanna make money in the markets ... but not that way, u know? so what 2 do?

1st #jarostopsgambling

source: http://www.etftrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/bull_nad_bear.gif

2nd #jarobuys promissing natural resource companies with old 'freed' funds and some new trading profits:

• osisko mining - gold
• bravo gold - gold
• q-cells - solar energy
• cardero resources - iron ore
• ECU silver - silver
• altona mining - copper
• innophos holdings - phosphates
• alexco resource - silver
• scorpio mining - zinc, lead, silver
• scorpio gold - gold - scorpio mining's small brother :-)
• agrium inc - phosphates
• mosaic co - phosphorus mines!
• mirasol resources - gold
• everton resources - gold
• golden valley mines - gold
• buchans minerals - zinc, lead
• megastar development - gold
• coral gold - gold
• portal resources - gold, oil
• belvedere resources - nickel
• tiger resources - copper
• rocmec mining - gold
• halo resources - gold
• donner metals - zinc, copper
• NWM mining - gold
• tara gold - gold
• united mining group - silver in silver valley
• alderon resources - iron ore in labrador/canada
• encanto potash - potash
• amerigo resources - copper, molybdenum in chile
• ...

good luck my honest fighters, good luck :-)